In my mind, I imagined Day 1 would be fast and furious, like a Formula 1 Red Bull race car flying around the track, all sound and blur, wheels spinning so fast the center caps appear to be tracking back. I saw clearly, in my mind, meetings and handshakes, people and paper, “Put my number in your phone”s, “Oh, I’ve heard about you”s, and “Lunch next week”s. I saw my calendar quickly filling up, heard my stomach growling from neglect, smelled the salty sweat of success pouring from my pits. Day 1 was supposed to set me up for one big wanderlusty writing win!!!

Well…Day 1 didn’t even get started until about 11:48 this morning. (Too much celebrating my “New Charlotte” project last night, I guess.) And, by 5 pm, I’d accomplished, let’s see…getting a hair cut, pissing off a guy on I-35 for cutting him off, and buying an avocado and Zatarain’s Red Beans & Rice at H-E-B. I did other things, too, though. Like eating more of my last-day-of-work chocolate cake, checking my snail mail (Oooh, coupons!) and spraying Formula 409 cleaner on my toilet and leaving it to “soak” and “saturate.” Oh, I also turned the apartment upside down searching for the old-school beeper my former employer assigned to me because, you see, it is imperative I return this precious, necessary relic or my last paycheck will reflect that I willingly purchased said all-important dated device. (By the way, there’s what appear to be circa 2004 Ritz Cracker crumbs embedded in the beeper’s little nooks and crannies. I pushed the “on” button and after a strange series of sad little bips and boops, the pager’s display read, “Really, Char? The Future Called. I Heard Laughter And Whispering In The Background. Bip! Boop!”)

Day 1 has thoroughly wiped me out. Can’t wait for Day 2!