It’s December 29, 2012. So? Go ahead. Tell me. I want to know. Really. I do. What’s your answer to the big question everyone is asking themselves right about now. You have asked it of yourself. You know you have. It’s human nature. Tell me. You can whisper it to me. Quietly. Softly. Shhh…tell me. I want to know. There you go…yes. Uh huh? Yes? Uh huh?
WHAT??? GROSS!!! I’M GONNA FREAKIN’ TELL YOUR MOM!!!
No, seriously. The question is, what do you resolve to do differently in 2013 than you did in 2012? And you know in 2012, you raised a lot of hell (Lohan,) told a lot of lies (Limbaugh,) went to one too many glamorous movie premieres without any drawers on (Hathaway,) and barely made it through yet another year not being who you really want to be (you?)
I’m inclined to do away with the whole new year resolution notion. Like giving beyond Christmas and being grateful beyond Thanksgiving, resolving to be more of who you really are can happen any time of the year. April 17th and September 8th, for instance, are wonderful days to declare some resolutions for yourself! But, January 1st of 2013 is upon us, and I’m thinking resolutions, too. It’s human nature.
What do I resolve to do differently in 2013 than I did in 2012?
Well, first, I’ve come to really believe it’s not so much what I want to do differently. It’s more about who I want to see when I assess the lady I am. When I close my eyes and look within, what does my heart beat about the person I am? Do I please me? Do I make myself smile? And–bonus points for me here–do I make you smile, too? That’s important to me.
Another one–to learn more about myself, and to be comfortable in how that person relates in the world. Last night on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, author, actress and comedian Amy Sedaris lit up the set with her sweet & salty humor. She showed off her toe panty stockings (Google them) and then she showed off the necklace she got for Christmas and how you can safely yank it off her neck during “bitch-slap” play without worry of it breaking into pieces. Then she proceeded to make what she called a “crafty candle” display with romaine lettuce, pineapple rings, a banana, whipped cream and a cherry–the whole time talking and giggling. And you just know she was being herself. She was being the Amy Sedaris who Amy Sedaris really is. And I, for one, love her for that. That’s important to me, too.
Here’s another resolution–and old Charlotte would never admit this for fear of seeming vulnerable and weak, but new Charlotte finds peace in putting words around this one–I want to be in love. I want to be in complete, mouth-watering, mind-blowing, earth-shattering, headboard-banging love! And, I want to be in love with someone who is in love with me just as I am now knowing that while I may grow more beautifully every day into the new Charlotte of my dreams, I will never be more worthy than I am at this very moment. Right now. Sitting on my couch. HEB Restaurant Style tortilla chip crumbs on my lap and computer keyboard. Alfalfa hair. Morning-slash-coffee breath. Possible eye booger. Granny panties with a hole in them and YES, enough. You know what I mean. Love is important to me.
I also resolve to take all this new Charlotte goodness to some distant place I’ve never been: Italy. Greece. Africa. Shucks, I’ve never even been to Jamaica, mon. And you know those Jamaicans–while they would probably be perfectly happy with old Charlotte–would love them some new Charlotte! I think I would love them, too.
And there are other resolutions. Be more charitable. Spend more time with my family. Write, write, write. Get my teeth fixed. Improve my finances. More yoga. More tennis. Eat better. Sleep sounder. Meditate more, laugh more, Facebook less, more bike rides and fun walks. Maybe learn to swim, create more art, meet more people, and on and on.
But mainly, I want to firmly and proudly and happily hold up the light in all that is the new me. The new, peaceful me. The calm me. The passionate me. The non-self critical, anti-anal me who doesn’t sweat the small things and lets the trivial crap just roll away. And really, when I think about it, I am already her. She. I am already she. Her. Wait..I am her. She. Yes, she. I am already she.
Til next time!