What I would like to know is…who are all these people who are working from home???

Here we go again with Mayer drama! See my tweet — Charlotte Moore (@CharlieMo444) 3.7.13

Ever since Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer sent out that edict saying she wanted her employees to be at work, there’s been this national outcry! Employed people with swords and shields rising up as one, marching together by the millions in mob-like, mirage-y fashion, tops of heads then shoulders and torsos becoming visible over faraway green hills as workers unite, on their way to Yahoo headquarters to confront Mayer and spit upon her insensitive, wacko, craaaaazy new requirement.

What the…?

Ok, I have a question…do you work from home? Who are all these people doing professional-level jobs from their La-Z-Boys? I consider myself to be a professional. I’ve worked in a professional capacity for more than 15 years now. And the only time it was “chill” for me to “go ahead and work from home” was either when a half-inch of snow hit the Austin metro area (think Apocalypse Now) or when I called in sick the day after my birthday complaining of a sore throat and shingles. Guilt always made me suggest I do a little “word processing” or “research” from my “death bed.” And even then, you know I didn’t work from home.

By contemporary definition, the term “work from home” really means “watch The Price Is Right in bed while eating Fruit Loops right out of the box followed by underwear dancing to Shakira in the living room followed by a Facebook-a-thon from a corner table at Starbucks until 4:15 pm when you head out to beat rush-hour traffic and avoid a red-light run-in with a co-worker, or worse, your boss.”

I’ll admit something here. I’m jealous of people who get to work from home. I once even seriously contemplated getting pregnant just so that toward the end of my first trimester I could suggest a work from home situation which would have allowed me to comfortably do my job free of harsh lighting and bothersome co-workers, sip my whiskey and produce at my own pace.

I guess I do sympathize with pregnant women, women who’ve recently given birth, really introverted men with high waists or people who are dealing with health issues that make it easier for them to work from home. But, for employees who have apparently just kinda had it made for years driving about…oh…ZERO MILES to get to work every day and clocking in…oh…in the BATHROOM…I don’t know. I say if your boss tells you you’ve got to work from work…well, go warm up the car buddy. Or get another job. Or be your own boss, create whatever professional delightenment you’d like, and let yourself and all your other personalities happily work from home.

Problem solved!

Til next time.