Right now I feel as though I’m being taxied along the road to delightenment in a sputtering car. The street is as nice and smooth as ever, but I’m in the jalopiest of jalopies, a real broken-down POS that couldn’t support my journey if it wanted to. And it doesn’t want to.

Frankly, my dear, it doesn’t give a damn.

Not too long ago, this is how I was rolling along:

Hello??! Really? Ahem! Excuse me….blog in progress(?) Not long ago, that’s almost exactly what life was feeling like and sounding like and…well…bouncing around like.

Right now, there’s more of this going on:

This is how I’m waking up in the mornings:

car crash 1

This transpires around the noon-time hour:

car crash 2

And right before I go to sleep nowadays, I feel like this:

car crash 3

And while I’m tempted to push my car onto the nearest set of train tracks, recline in my seat and take a nap, I am well aware that a train would hit me. Which would hurt. Probably a lot. And since I tend to not really do the whole physical pain bit, I’ve been content to just sulk in my seat. On the side of the road. Eating peanut butter with my finger. Humming Whitney Houston’s “Where Do Broken Hearts Go?” Car stuck between N and D in a gear I created for myself called EI, or erratic idle.

Smelling the fumes has gotten old.

What I’m going to do instead is crank the ignition again and, as they say, put the pedal to the metal. Looking out my window, I can see the road ahead is as big and wide as it always was. There are even little angels and faeries and tinkerbells clearing debris in front of me as I forge my way ahead. Objects in my rear view mirror only appear to be close to me. The more I think about it, the more I see what a crash test dummy I’m being. And I realize I cannot create my delightenment if I give up and burn out every time my engine stalls.

Right now, I’m nodding out my car window to that kinda scary looking but pleasant and energetic old transient with the squeegee who just miraculously materialized next to my windshield.

“Go ahead,” I’m saying, smiling. “Clean her off. Here’s a dollar.”

Today is about counting my blessings. And getting back on the road to delightenment again.

crash test zen

Til next time!

(Note: No one was seriously injured in the writing of this blog.)

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